A Potpourri of Last Thoughts

I think this is the sixth book that I’ve written about or for you. I always get to the end and remember some things that I wanted to say but didn’t know either where I might insert them or that didn’t deserve a whole chapter. You know how verbose I am, so don’t be surprised, though, if what I say here is chapter length. All of the topics are important to me, and I hope they will be important to you.

Search for Jesus

Sometime in the late summer or early fall of 2019, I happened upon an article in the AFA Journal. Actually, I shouldn’t say happened. Frank handed me the magazine after he had read it and pointed me to an article that he thought I’d like. I read it, liked it as far as I remember, then began to thumb through the rest of the magazine. When I saw the title “Reaping a Harvest with the Grahams,” I was interested and read it. By the time I reached the end of the article, I knew that I wanted to be a part of Search for Jesus, one of the arms of the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association.

I have always admired Billy Graham so much and have never heard or read a sermon of his that didn’t touch my heart in some way for the Lord. So . . . I applied and went through training to make me an email coach. I have told you several times in this “letter” that I recognize my strengths and weaknesses in the area of witnessing for Jesus. I pray all the time that I’ll get better vocally, but for now, I rely on writing my witness. Answering emails from people who have questions, mainly spiritual. After the training, I began in earnest my writing.

I have no idea of how many emails I’ve written in just over two years, probably hundreds. I love writing to people after praying that God will give me the ideas and even words that I need for meeting their needs. I’ve answered questions about prayer, salvation, being closer to God, Bible study, baptism, faith, joy, backsliding, and worry. And I’ve prayed with people when they have asked for us to do that. I keep a list of the prayer requests so that I can continue to pray for them from time to time.

When I started my job as an email coach, I was required to answer ;ive emails a week; now, email coaches are asked to spend two hours a week answering emails. I found it challenging but doable to write five emails a week; however, I’m finding it dif;icult to time myself in answering. I’m pretty much keeping to the five plus emails. I try to do about seven a week, thinking that that’s probably about two hours’ worth.

I’ve been asked to be the Prayer Leader for our group (SFJ coaches in NM and CA), but I’m still praying about that. I love to pray and spend a lot of time talking to the Lord every day, but I’m not so sure that I can lead. Maybe by the time that I finish this book, I will have determined what God wants me to do. (July 5, 2022 — Shortly after I wrote this piece, I definitely felt that the Lord wasn’t calling me to be the Prayer Leader for our group. Here’s what I wrote to Thea, our Area Coordinator:
February 5, 2022

Dear Thea,

It’s with a heart that is both heavy and happy that I write to you this morning. Why is it heavy? Because your offering me the privilege of being the Area Team Prayer Leader is one of the greatest honors that I’ve ever had. I know that offering me this position in our group was your way of saying that you had faith in me to carry out the responsibilities involved in being the Prayer Leader. I don’t want to be a disappointment to you, my dear friend. Always know that I’ll forever feel honor and love because of your offer.

And why is my heart happy? Almost every time I answer an email about prayer, I tell the seeker that God has three answers to our prayers (you already know what these are): “Yes,” “No,” and “Wait a while.” I try to remember these answers every time I pray. I think you know that I have prayed and prayed about whether or not I should accept your offer of being the ATPL. In fact, I have prayed about this more than anything else that I can remember. I can assure you that His answer to begin with was “Wait a while.” I waited and waited, and finally, a day or so ago, I heard His answer . . . “No.” The Lord knows me better than anyone here on earth, and for some reason (I know some of them, but He knows more), He has clearly told me that I shouldn’t commit to this very important opportunity. His answering my prayer, even with a “No,” makes me happy! The next time we talk, I can tell you what I think are His reasons if you want me to.

Thea, I spend a lot of time in prayer every day, and I almost always include those in our area in my prayers. They will be in them even more often now. I also plan to check the Facebook Prayer Page to find others who need prayers. You know how I feel about having specific amounts of time specified for email coaches and ATPLs. If it were not for the one-hour prayer requirement every week for Prayer Volunteers, I would be happy to take on that responsibility; however, I just can’t promise that. So . . . please know that I’ll be praying for our team regularly . . . and for you as our AC and Team Leader.

One of the best gifts God has given us is the privilege of prayer. I don’t take His gift lightly. But you already know that. So I’ll close this heavy-happy-heart letter with a big THANK YOU for having enough confidence in me to ask me to be the Prayer Leader, and I THANK YOU in advance for not letting your disappointment mar our friendship. I love you dearly, and I love working with you!

As I close my emails to seekers . . . blessings to you today and every day! Sandy

In any event, I love working for SFJ. Answering emails is one way to witness, and witnessing is what I want most in the world to do!

Bethlehem Evangelical Academy

I think it was in August 2020 that I received an email from my friend Barbara Lautner. She told me that her daughter and son-in-law Susan and Mike Rollwagen were working with a school and needed an English teacher for 9th and 10 grade students. And where was this school? In Bethlehem! As our little granddaughter, Dasha, said with wide eyes, “Where Jesus was born?” Yes, where Jesus was born. I learned early on after I accepted the position of after-school-ZOOM-English teacher that Bethlehem is NOT in Israel, as I had already thought. It’s in Palestine!

I loved getting up at 5:00 a.m. on Tuesday mornings to get socially acceptable for my online class at 6:30. I loved each student and my co-workers Susan Rollwagen, Lori Reece, and Jeff Pribble, our fearless leader in Bethlehem. I don’t need to say any more about my year in Bethlehem because I’ve said it all in the article below. I was asked to write about my experiences, and my article was published in a Newsletter that went to all the schools in the group of which BEA is a member. I need to tell you that Dave Garrison, the person who writes the Newsletter, took the privilege of editing my article. The new version barely sounds like me. I must admit, though, that Dave is a better writer than I am; therefore, my article sounds better from his “pen” than from mine.

There was no title to my article, but I’d call it “Sandy’s Big Adventure” or something like that!

The Lord called me to teach in 1959, when I was a freshman at Mississippi College. Ini=ally thinking I was des=ned for a church-related job, I had a calling during my freshman year to teach- specifically English. I majored in English and minored in Bible and Secondary Educa=on. Those majors served me well as I taught English for the next 32 years in Mississippi and Florida.

After teaching for all those years, I decided that I might like to do something else before retirement. I took a job with McDougal/Houghton publishers as a Sales Rep for their curriculum, and spent the next two decades crisscrossing Florida and New Mexico. As much fun as that was, the time eventually came for retirement. While that may have been the right thing to do at the time, I must admit that retirement wasn’t the best thing that ever happened to me. I missed people. And I didn’t feel useful.

That’s when God answered another prayer. I was contacted by Holy Land Ministries in August of last year and asked if I might be interested in teaching a Zoom literature class to ninth and tenth graders. I was immediately interested, being intrigued all the more that these students were in Bethlehem, at the Bethlehem Academy. I’ve always wanted to go to the Holy Land- now I could go every Tuesday morning! Plus, I could get back in the classroom, where I’ve always belonged.

Since I had been out of the classroom for almost a quarter of a century when I began my “teaching career” at Bethlehem Academy, you can imagine that I had a lot of work to do, and approached it with not a li]le trepida=on. My special new friend, Jeff Pribble (Bethlehem Academy Academic Director) calmed my nerves, and helped me focus on the basics. He asked just three things of me in my teaching: to teach both English and American Literature (with a sma]ering of World Lit), to introduce students to authors and periods of literature of my own choice, and to prepare the students for the SAT. The first two requests seemed easy enough- pre]y much in my wheelhouse, as they say. Preparing students for the SAT was another ma]er.

But help was soon on the way. Two other volunteers were also on this Zoom teaching team, Susan Rollwagen and Lori Reece. Susan has been to the school a few times with a volunteer group called WordWalk, and serves as the technical coordinator for the Zoom class. Lori has also volunteered for the school previously and has been providing lots of SAT related material to help the students get a leg up in that department. And we can’t forget the commander of this little group, Jeff. He was an AP English teacher before coming to Bethlehem Academy over five years ago. The four of us have been a team for six months!

On the night before my first class, I will admit I didn’t sleep all that well. What if nobody showed up to class (it was totally voluntary)? What if I wasn’t prepared? What if I didn’t wake up in time? You see, our class begins at 3:30 p.m. in Bethlehem, but that’s 6:30 a.m. in New Mexico! But God, unsurprisingly, took care of all that. I woke up on time. I was prepared. Students were there, ready to go--and when I saw their faces in their little Zoom squares, “my heart leapt up,” to roughly quote William Wordsworth. Thus began my “love affair” with nine students at Bethlehem Academy.

There was a bit of a learning curve for all of us, mostly in how to deal with the nature of a virtual classroom. We quickly developed little “codes” to communicate: fingers raised for correct answers to quizzes, hands raised to ask a question, writing questions in the “chat” func=on, etc. It wasn’t long before we were communicating clearly and effectively. I am especially encouraged by the fact that the class has grown from our initial nine students to fifteen total--all of the students we have in the 9th and 10th grades. I admire them so much because they have already had a full day of classes when they jump on Zoom for our class. Remember, this is a completely voluntary class- they could all easily just be going home, but they choose to stay for more school!

We give light homework assignments each week, and they send their answers via Facebook Messenger. Sometimes we give them video links so they can both hear and read selections. Frequently, Susan and Lori ask them to answer SAT type questions that they have created for selections that I have taught. Almost all of them address me as “Miss,” and that thrills me! These students amaze me. As a person who speaks only one language, I stand in awe of these students who speak at least two languages.... Arabic and English. One of our students also speaks Korean. And some of them have practically no accent in English. Just amazing!

I have always tried to encourage my students to be lifelong readers, and that’s what I’ve tried to do through our Zoom classes at Bethlehem Academy. Historically, the Arab culture is a verbal culture more than written. That is why it has been so exciting to see my students drawn to the literature I have introduced them to.

Bethlehem Christian Academy, Jeff Pribble, and my dear students are answered prayer for me. I would encourage anybody who has a similar opportunity to volunteer for this ministry to get involved. It may sound like a cliché, but you really will get more than you give.

I embarrassed myself one week by telling the students that I was going to fuss at them for not doing their homework. I continued my fussing by saying something like, “Have your parents ever fussed at you for something? Do you like to be fussed at?” They had deer-in-headlights looks as I said these things, but I didn’t think anything about that. After class, Jeff wrote an email to us, explaining that they were proud of the students for not bursting out in laughter as I said these things. You see, he explained, that the word fuss in English sounds like the word for fart in Arabic, the students’ first language! I never used the word fuss again! And we all got a big laugh!

I can’t close this section without showing you my beautiful students! Here they are with names. You’ll see Midyan. He was the first student that I met. I was practicing my first ZOOM lesson, and he came in a day earlier than he was supposed to. He has always been a very special young man to me. He is in Indiana as an exchange student this year, and we communicate via Facebook Messenger. You’ll also notice Sima. She, too, is special. She probably wrote to me more times than any other student, and I found out a few days ago that she’s the first student to take the CLEP. She passed in Biology!!!

I’ll close on a bit of a sad note. I’ve been praying that we’d have a class in second semester . . . right now. As Jay would say, “Ain’t gonna happ’n, Cap’n!” Jeff has made the decision for students to have more instruction in math and science than in literature and history. He’s not cutting out my favorite courses, just not giving students extra ZOOM classes in these subjects. I think you know that I consider the language arts to be just as important as math and science, if not more so. But that’s just my opinion. I’ll continue to stay in touch with Jeff, Susan, and Lori because they have become some of my best friends because of our online early morning (for me) instruction in 2020 and 2021. Jeff has assured me that he’ll consider having the literature class in the next school year. I was called to be an English teacher, so I pray that I’ll have a class! (July 5, 2022 — Sometime in the spring, one of my students wrote to me to ask if I would teach a class on preparing for the CLEP. I was elated, even though I know nothing about preparing students for any standardized test; however, I knew that if Susan would help me, Razan and other students could be well prepared for the test. To make a long story short, and I know you’ll be glad for a shorter version, Susan agreed, Jeff agreed, and we began our classes yesterday on Independence Day! We have five students, plus one of their teachers taking part in our classes. We’ll have three more classes . . . every Monday from 7:00 - 9:00 a.m. [my time].)

Josh Matendo and an Intervention

I’m sure all of you remember how excited I was when I received a Friend Request on Facebook from a young man named Jonathan Johan. I accepted his request and immediately started telling people, especially those at C3, about my new friend, who had called me “Mom” from the beginning. I soon found out that his real name was Joshua Matendo and that he lived in a village/small town in Uganda. I found out that he was a Christian and that he worked with orphans in his town and was much in need of money. I sent him money twice before you, Wendy and Todd, came to see me one evening.

You had what I call an intervention with me, informing me that practically nothing good can come out of Uganda these days. You told me that many people there are dishonest and have ways of getting into our money based on information that innocent people, like me, give them. They prey on anyone who will befriend them. I didn’t believe then that Josh was one of those dishonest people, and today I still don’t believe that he is one of them. BUT because I love my family more than I love him, I cut off almost all communication with him.

He was stricken from Facebook for some reason, and, as you pointed out, that might have been an indication of dishonesty of some kind. I don’t understand that, but I honored your words. When Jackson was with us on our Southland Tour in 2019, I asked him to delete Josh from my Instagram account, mainly because he was sending “friend requests,” or whatever they’re called on Instagram, to so many of my friends. I also cancelled my WhatsApp account because you, Wendy, told me that that means of communication isn’t safe. Almost everything cancelled.

You may not like this, but I still communicate with Josh via email occasionally. I have asked him never to ask me for money because I can’t send any, and he honors my request. He called me a little over a year ago to tell me that he was a father . . . to Hannah Chloe. I think that he is married, but he’s in a very sad situation now. I heard from him recently that his wife and little daughter have left him because he can’t support them. This breaks my heart, and I pray for him every day, along with my other preacher boys: Chad, Bryne, Eric, Susan and Mark, and Guy. I call Josh one of my preacher boys because of the work that he still does on weekends with the children. He is truly a called Christian young man for these children.

I know that you meant well by warning me about people in Uganda, and I appreciate your meeting with me. I was glad to honor your wishes even though I still think that Josh Matendo is who he says he is . . . a Christian who feels called to work with those precious orphans. I thank God for bringing him into my life.

(July 7, 2022 — I must tell you that I received an email from Josh sometime this year, again asking me for money, this time specifically for him to renew his driver’s license so that he could once again get a job as a driver. My answer was “short and sweet.” I told him once again that I would not send money to him for anything. I have not heard from him since. Do I still pray for him? Of course, I do. But I won’t give in and send him money. You can depend on that!)

Here are photos of Josh and his children . . . the last one of Hannah Chloe Matendo!

Coronavirus, Covid-19, Quarantine, and Other “Stuff” from 2020 - 2022

I think I first heard the term coronavirus early in 2020. I was using the term myself by March 9, 2020, when I found myself assuring people, as I hugged them at Laurie Higgins’ mother’s funeral, that I didn’t have coronavirus. We were all laughing about it. Little did we know that just a few days later, we’d be quarantined to our homes because of the uproar about this very contagious virus. Our lives would be changed for who knows how long. I’m writing this on January 13, 2022, and we are still in the midst of the pandemic, which has progressed from Covid-19 to the Delta and Omicron Variants. I don’t exactly understand the differences in the three, if there are any. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

On Saturday, March 7, lots of us Yoyoungsfields and Yochams (Wendy and Todd, Frank and me, and Ron, Darlene, Shonda, and Brenda) went to hear Jackson in his first guitar performance. We all were so proud of him . . . and he dedicated one piece to his grandparents! You know I had to have a photo or it didn’t happen . . .

The next day, we had the child dedication of Dasha at our church. We had had that service for Danil when he was younger than Dasha. I was so very happy that Irina wanted to dedicate Dasha in the same way that she had Danil. Here’s the photo . . .

I mentioned earlier that we went to a funeral on March 9. On March 10 (our 59th anniversary of our first date!), Irina, Danil, and Dasha left for home. (Ernesto had left earlier to report for work.) I always hate to see them go. If I had known then what I know now, I would have really been sad because the quarantine began just a few days after they left and we wouldn’t see them until just before Christmas 2020, when we visited them to deliver their Christmas gifts. Here’s the photo that I took just before they left . . .

And now to the quarantine itself. I’m sure the real quarantine didn’t last too long, but it seemed like an age. We don’t go many places, but we hated being told that we needed to stay at home. But stay at home, we did. For several months, Frank did all the grocery shopping, going to Santa Fe about once every two weeks. I very carefully wiped off or washed everything that came into our home . . . when I remembered. I'm sorry to say that I wasn’t faithful for very long. But . . . we didn’t get the virus.

We began having church online on March 15, I believe. At first, we worked through our website www.cerrilloschurch.com, but I don’t remember how we did it. I don’t think it was live. Eric just recorded messages for us. On Easter Sunday, we began having church via ZOOM. (You may not know this, but I was the one who suggested to Eric that we use ZOOM. I had no idea how it would be done, but I knew from experience that it could be done.) And here we are in August 2022 still logging on every Sunday. I’ve been sending a reminder every Sunday morning for the day’s service so that folks would have Lisa’s link to C3. Lisa is the mastermind behind our gatherings. We have a fellowship time from 10:00 to 10:30. Eric asks for prayer requests, then leads us in prayer. Next comes Wendy’s music and video. Music doesn’t translate very well to ZOOM meetings, but many times the words are on the screen so that we know what the singers are saying. The videos come through pretty well. I love both! Eric’s sermon begins around 10:45, and he’s finished by 11:30 or a little before. We appreciate our pastor so much, and I pray almost every day that he’ll stay with us. We love him and his family! And . . . pastors are hard to find out here in the Southwest. Many more pastors are available in the Bible Belt, the Deep South. We hope that the Lord will let him stay with us for a long time!

Even though travel was discouraged during the early days of COVID-19, we hopped in our car in June 2020 and went to Monroe for my cousin Kay’s funeral. That year, we also went to Bremerton, our last time to see Sam alive. What a wonderful visit! The only relatives that came to visit this time were Jim, Becca, Heivett (representing our sailor Harrison, who was still in Italy). We were able to see Patti on our way home. In September, I began teaching online every Tuesday morning at 6:30. I was back in my element with those precious students at Bethlehem Evangelical Academy. But you’ve already read about them earlier in this missive. Christmas in 2020 was strange. We went to Ft. Defiance before Christmas to deliver gifts to Irina and her family, but at home, we had a ZOOM Christmas.

(For some reason, Jackson came to see us on Christmas Eve 2020. I just can’t remember why.)

If 2020 was a travel year, 2021 was even more so. Before I tell you about travel, though, I’ll remind you that in January 2021, we “inherited” Cynthia Rowe, a lady in Cerrillos who had dementia/Alzheimer’s. You all know the story, so I won’t repeat it now. I kept a journal on her from January until we were summarily dismissed by her family and haven’t seen her since that awful day. The journal is titled Cynthia on My Mind and is on my computer. I may print it someday. Please don’t throw it away. Someone in our family, years from now, may want to read it. You already know virtually everything in it. All I’ll say about Cynthia is that I loved her when we were responsible for her, and I still love her. I pray every day specifically for her. I pray for her sisters and niece, too, that they will be good to her and won’t spend all of her money. She’ll need it when she has to go to a facility of some sort.

And now to our travels. In early April, we went to Pensacola, stopping along the way to see Gail and Ray in Monroe, my college girlfriends in Clinton, and my cousins Cherie Mauer and Missy Cheatham Rye. This Pensacola trip was so very special! Of course, we saw Jo and Fred, Bob, Fran, and folks at First Baptist on Easter Sunday. We also got together with Susan and Mike Rollwagen and Lori and Robert Reece, probably the best visit of our trip. Susan, Lori, and I had been working online with BEA since September 2020, but we had never met in person. One more get-together was with Beth and Andy. We never like to go to Pensacola without getting together with them . . . more children! And on this trip, we were able to get together with Karen and Larry! Always good memories in Pensacola, my hometown in my Glorious Southland!

More stops on this trip: New Orleans, Birmingham (my favorite former WHS student, Cathy Parsons Hall, and her hubby, Patrick), and Florence! Here are the photos to prove that these visits really happened!

The BEA teachers!

At the end of June, we “enrolled” Cynthia in The Legacy at Santa Fe, under much duress, I must say, and headed for Bremerton on July 1 . . . taking our time on this trip. We usually make the trip in two days, but this time we took four or five. What a splendid trip! Our main reason for the trip this summer was to attend Jimmie’s and Sam’s memorials, with Frank doing the honors for Jimmie.

But before those events, we had other adventures. Before we went to Bremerton, we stayed for a few days in North Bend at the home of one of Susie’s friends, the same place that we parked our trailer in 2020; however, we parked this time right outside the barn, where Charley the horse lived. During the time that we were there, he and Frank became best friends, with Frank feeding him morning and night. He liked me, but he loved Frank!

While we were in North Bend, we had dinner with Susie and Patty and did our annual trip to Snoqualmie Falls. Our dinner meeting was fun, fun, fun, and the Falls were spectacular!

Another thing that we did before we went to Bremerton was visit our friends Claudia and Ivan Robbins in Port Ludlow, WA. Lost of fun and no dead air!

On to Bremerton! You may remember that our real reason for going to Bremerton exactly when we did was so that we could attend the memorials for Sam and Jimmie. Maybe you read all of the journals that I posted on Facebook for the time that we were there; I hope you did. So . . . I’ll just say that we did lots of reminiscing about both of our boys who have departed, ate out a lot, ate at Tim’s house a lot (big gatherings), and memorialized Sam and Jimmie. Aside from family gatherings, we met one morning with Sabrina and Rich Huddy, our good friends in Bremerton. (They visited us in the fall during their trip to the Southwest. We love them!) All in all, our trip to Bremerton in 2021 was just as delightful as it was in prior years, even though Sam and Jimmie weren’t with us. I’m attaching a few photos that picture the highlights of the trip to me! Of course, I had to include Cooper, the cutest doggie in the world!

A couple of days before Sam’s memorial, Bob and Harrison arrived, making our Young family complete. Since I’m writing this a year after the gatherings, my old memory won’t click in for details of what we did; however, the photos tell stories . . .

Early on the day after Jimmie’s memorial, Frank and I left for home . . . Tim, of course, getting up way too early to see us off. We had a wonderful time with our Washington family; however, we were ready to get back to our homestead, our NM family, and Joe. I took a few photos, as you will see, as we got to our beautiful Southwest.

We’re already planning our trip in the summer of 2022 . . . maybe up the Paci;ic CoasthighwayfromCaliforniatoWashington.Ican’twait!❤ (August3,2022...no Washington trip this year. Gas prices too high!)

Just two more things . . .

I’m not sure that any of you know how important it is for me to witness for Jesus. It’s the thing that I want most to do in my life, but I have a very difficult time talking to any of you about our Savior. I can write about my belief in Him, but I have trouble approaching anyone, especially my family, in person. I hope I’ve lived my life so that you know how important Jesus is to me. But I don’t know for sure that you know. I know that during election years lately I have fallen out of grace with some of you. I felt from 2016 to 2020 that my support of President Trump made me practically an enemy. Maybe not . . . but that’s the way I felt.

Because having all of you in Heaven with us is the most important thing in my life and because I have such difficulty talking to you about salvation, I’m copying words from the “Afterword” in one of David Jeremiah’s books. I hope you’ll read this quoted part and that it will be exactly what you need to understand how to become a Christian and what you can expect after accepting Jesus as your personal Savior.

What About after Earth?

What on earth should we do to live confidently in these chaotic days? In this book we’ve answered that question. We must be about our Father’s business. As the day approaches, that business is more urgent than ever.

But let me propose another question; this one is personal. Actually, it’s the same question I asked the listeners of our radio program Turning Point the day Chaplain Brad Borders heard it. Have you made any plans for life after your life on earth is done? God has certainly made plans for you, and He has sent you an engraved invitation. That invitation came in human form, as His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ. I hope and pray that you’ve accepted the invitation, that you’ve made Christ your Savior for eternity and your master for right now. But I want you to be certain about this issue.

You see, one of the symptoms of our troubled times is a tangled mess of confusion and misinformation on the things that really matter. People have a lot of ideas about heaven and salvation, and many of these ideas don’t come from God’s inspired Word. Therefore, let’s take a careful look at what’s involved in identifying with Christ and having the assurance of salvation.

The Bible tells us that every one of us is a sinner. What that means is that all of us “miss the mark” of the perfection that God requires. Every day, in many ways, we fail to live up to God’s standard. Since He is holy and perfect, there can be no sin in His presence. Therefore, when it comes to being in heaven—the spiritual domain of His presence—we have a big problem. Our sin would make us ineligible to go there. Not only that, but we would have earned the penalty of death, which sin assures.

Our sin creates a barrier between God and His children. It would be insurmountable if God hadn’t acted out of His love and compassion for our predicament. He sent His perfect Son Jesus Christ, to this world. Jesus lived a life that showed us exactly how we should be living. Then, though He was completely without sin, He died on the cross, taking the punishment we had earned. You see, as He suffered and died, He voluntarily took all of our sin on Himself. A perfect man took the punishment that sinful people had earned so that those people could be declared sinless and worthy to stand in God’s presence someday.

That forgiveness begins immediately, on the sole condition that you accept His gift through faith. There is nothing you can do to earn that salvation only accept it and identify with Christ. Then there is nothing you can do to lose it. The second you say yes to Christ, your sins are fully forgiven. The Holy Spirit enters your life, and from that moment on, He serves as your counselor and encourager. He will help to mold you to be more like Christ.

What, then, must you do to be saved? Simply pray to God and ask Him to forgive you of all your sins. Ask Christ to become your Lord and master, and then make a commitment to serve Him for the rest of your life. When you pray, you can use your own words—God knows your heart and simply asks you to be sincere. But you might say something like this: “Lord, I am a sinner. I own up to the fact that I can never please You through my own efforts. Every day of my life I miss the mark. But I know that Your Son, Jesus Christ, died for me, in all His perfection, to pay the price of my sins. I accept His gift. I acknowledge His sacriGice on my behalf. And from this moment on, I identify with Him and will follow Him wholeheartedly, Ginding and doing His will for my life.”

What will it feel like? Perhaps not much at all—not at first. This isn’t about emotions but about an act of your will. Though the moment may be very quiet, heaven will be rejoicing, and God will see you clothed in the perfection of Christ. You will be His child. Then, as you begin to read your Bible every day (the Gospel of John is a great place to start), you will grow as a believer. Spend daily time in prayer, and aind a church where the gospel is preached, the Bible is believed, and the people are kind and caring.

We also want to be certain that you get off to the best possible start in following your Lord and Savior. If you need guidance or have questions, let us know at Turning Point Ministries:

P.O. Box 3838
San Diego, CA 92163

If you prayed to accept Christ, welcome to the family! You have begun a joyful life that will culminate in the wonderful reunion we’ve been describing, when Christ comes to take His children home. What a day of rejoicing that will be.
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Pop/Dad/Frank and I would love to talk to you about all that Dr. Jeremiah has said. We want you to be sure to understand everything about becoming a Christian! Maybe by the time that I finish this book for you I will have approached you in person about salvation.

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I started to make the following a part of the “Potpourri of Last Thoughts,” but I decided that it needed to go here. Part of the section consists of my words and part of it words from David Jeremiah.

The Ten Most Important Words . . . to Me

Before I tell you the ten most important words to me, I’ll paste a relatively short article by Dr. David Jeremiah. As I’ve told you in many places in this book, I very much want everyone reading it to know what it means to be a Christian and how to become one. Your salvation is the most important thing in the world to me. This article by Dr. Jeremiah tells mainly what will happen to a Christian when he or she dies. This is what will happen to me; I want it to happen to you.

Your Heavenly Escorts

For every Christian, the time is coming when we will move into our heavenly homes, assisted by the Lord’s real estate agents— called angels. After carefully studying this subject in the Bible, I believe that angels take believers home to heaven when we die and help us move into our new houses. This is tremendously comforting, and it takes much of the intimidation out of the move. The primary Scripture teaching on this comes from the lips of Christ Himself. In describing the beggar Lazarus in Luke 16, Jesus said, “So it was that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels to Abraham’s bosom,” referring to heaven. Notice that Lazarus wasn’t merely escorted to heaven. The angels carried him there.

Death is our most universal and dreaded experience, and even Christians can be apprehensive. But in the Bible, death is never defined as the cessation of life, but as separation. Physical death is the separation of the soul from the body. Spiritual death is being separated from God. Eternal death is being separated from heaven. For the Christian, the separation of soul and body is temporary; and at the resurrection, our eternal souls will be reunited with our glorified bodies.

I don’t suppose the apostle Paul was looking forward to having his neck forced against a block of wood with an ax hurtling toward it, but he was clearly anticipating being with the Lord. He told the Philippians, “I am hard-pressed between the two (living and dying), having a desire to depart and be with Christ, which is far better” (Philippians 1:23). And to the Corinthians he wrote, “to be absent from the body (is to be) present with the Lord” (2 Corinthians 5:8).

Let me offer a surprising suggestion. Just as we look forward to our eternal destination, perhaps we should also learn to anticipate the trip. Why dread that moment of death? The journey to heaven will not be dark, fearful, or lonesome. God will dispatch His angels at just the right time, and they’ll meet us just within the veil and carry us to the heights of His glory.

When the godless rich man died in Luke 16, Jesus simply said he was buried; and in hell, he lifted up his eyes, being in torment. But when the unloved beggar named Lazarus died, who was covered in sores that the dogs came and licked, the angels were honored to convey him to heaven. He was regarded poorly in this life, but that didn’t disqualify him from having an angelic escort through eternity’s doorway.

There are other hints about this in Scripture. In Jude 9, Moses’ body was the special concern of the archangel Michael in his dispute with Satan. When Jesus comes again, according to 1 Thessalonians 4, the angels will be there to attend to those making their transports to heaven. They are heaven’s ushers.

Why would angels provide this service at the time of our deaths? Well, the angels are commissioned by God to care for His children. Though we don’t often see them, our lives are surrounded by angels; and they have more to do with our daily progress and protection than we realize. “Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?” (Hebrews 1:14, NIV)

Death may sound fearsome, but not when we’re looking to Jesus. He alone conquered death having purchased eternal life for His children. There’s no denying that Christians have a different way of dying than non-Christians. I’ve been by the bedsides of dying saints where I felt I could almost hear the aluttering of angelic wings.

But it’s the Bible that gives us the truth—not our speculations or experiences. And on the authority of the Word of God, I can assure you, angels are real. They are God’s real estate agents, ready to show us our heavenly homes and move us into the mansions Jesus has prepared for us. We don’t have to worry any more about dying. In fact, it almost makes me eager for moving day!

And now for my ten most important words. I know that when I die I’ll be escorted to Heaven by angels. That fact causes me to be excited, not at all fearful, about the end of my life.. I want most for you to have the same experience!

Those of us who are Christians will one day stand before Jesus at the Judgment Seat of Christ to receive our rewards for the good that we did for Him on Earth. The ten most important words for me will be the ones that I want Jesus to speak speci;ically to me: “Well done, Sandy. You were a good and faithful servant.” I know I won’t receive as many rewards as some people will . . . like Billy Graham, David Jeremiah, Max Lucado, JimfPleitz . . . but I look forward to receiving something from my Lord and personal Savior, Jesus!

I’m listing here some links that I hope you’ll go to, links that will tell you more about judgments in Heaven. Everyone needs to know about these:

• https://www.gotquestions.org/great-white-throne-judgment.html • https://www.gotquestions.org/;inal-judgment.html
• https://www.gotquestions.org/judgment-seat-Christ.html
• https://www.gotquestions.org/judgment-seat-Christ.html

• https://www.returntotheword.com/The-Judgment-Seat-Of-Christ-Article-RttW

I have no idea about when any of you will read my Love Letter to My Family . . . or if you’ll read it at all. I’m planning to ask you to read this one even if you never read the other books that I’ve written for and given to you. This book is the most important one to me because I’ve talked to you about your eternal life. I love living here with you, and I want to live with you in eternity.

Afterthoughts (November 25, 2022)

In almost all of the other books that I’ve given to you, whether they were written TO you or not, I have included a last-minute, catch-all chapter titled either Afterword or Afterthooughts. The chapters are always a conglomeration of ideas, incidents, and things I’ve either forgotten to say or didn’t know where to include. You may see shades of these earlier inclusions, but you’ll see different ones, too.

All of you know that we just returned from a trip to Palestine and Israel. This was a dream-come-true, prayers-are-always-answered trip. Ever since I taught students in Bethlehem in 2020-21, I’ve wanted to meet them in person. Mike Rollwagen had promised Frank and me that if I taught the students for the whole year we could go with them to Bethlehem the next time that they went. Well, it took longer than we thought it would because of COVID-19 and unexpected school closings by the Palestinian government.

The trip to the Land was tiring. Our group of ten left Pensacola on the morning of November 5 and spent eight hours in the Miami Airport, waiting for the American Airlines plane that would take us to Tel Aviv . . . landing twelve hours later. We had all dreaded going through Customs in Israel because we had heard “horror” stories of the questioning that we would receive. Susan and Mike Rollwagen had experienced the “grilling” in the past and had warned us to answer questions briefly, not adding in any friendly comments, and certainly not telling them that we were going to Bethlehem . . . in Palestine. Israelis and Palestinians are not exactly on friendly terms, as you know.

When we arrived at Customs, the ten of us stood together, waiting our turn to “checkin.” A lady came to us and asked if we were a group. We confirmed that we were. She said, “Follow me” and took us outof the airport to our waiting tour bus.  What?! Whoever ever heard of such? Definitely the Lord’s work in the Land where Jesus walked! We went directly to our hotel in Beit Sahour to rest a while and have dinner. No one slept very well that night because of fatigue. If you’ve traveled long distances the way we had, I’m sure you understand.

November 7, 2022

This was the day I had been waiting for since 2020 . . . the day I would meet my precious students and get lots of hugs. I was not disappointed! The photos below were taken at the hotel before we left for Bethlehem Evangelical Academy. From left to right, the ladies are Lori Reece, Allison Hunnicutt, Susan Rollwagen, and yours truly. Martha Phillips must have still been in her room. The other photo is of Pop and me, along with the owner of Grace Tours, our tour company, Elias Ghareeb. He didn’t get to be our official guide, but I think all of the wonderful things that Susan and Mike know about the Land, they learned from him. Later in the week, we ate dinner at his house and met his family. What a neat surprise!

I had seen photos of BEA before, but seeing it in person was surprising. It was much larger than I had thought. A really beautiful building!

Every minute at BEA was exciting, but the very best minute there was when I walked toward Shurouq’s room and could see a sea of familiar faces . . . ones belonging to people that I had met only online. I recognized all of them, but they were so sweet and told me their names as we hugged and I shed tears of joy for being with them. I think that the first person that I hugged was Shurouq! We have become such good friends because of the CLEP class that she, Susan, and I taught in July. Truly a thrilling, fulfilling moment for me! I had taken cookies (baked at JoAnn’s house in Pensacola) for them, and when I put the bags down, they almost ran to them and began to devour. My students are now juniors and seniors, and all of them had gathered before school to meet us. If I remember correctly, Susan, Frank, and Jeff were all with me. I guess they wanted to see the grand meeting. I was aware of only Shurouq and my precious students. Soon the juniors left for their first-period classes, and I taught the seniors the short story “American History.” I don’t think they learned much (I’m a bit rusty), but I had a wonderful time being “on stage” with real live students. The last time I had that pleasure was in 1996! Here I am performing! The Lord called me to be a teacher back in 1958 or 1959, and here I am still before a class in 2022!

Next stop . . . lunch with our Class of 2020 in the Pre-School Kitchen. We had pizza and my cookies. I hope someone took the bags of cookies and crumbs home. Never saw them again!

I told Ghada that I wanted a photo of everyone, so after lunch we went outside for the photo shoot.

After lunch, I observed Shurouq’s class, and then we had a free period. Those free periods with her were so wonderful. We talked about personal things, even about the situation between Israel and Palestine. Here in the US, we get a bit of a skewed picture of the relationship. Our news media is definitely prejudiced toward Israel, and I have always thought I was getting the real picture. I wasn’t. Granted, there are terrorists in Palestine; however,  most of the real people are beautiful inside and out . . . and I love them. Shurouq recommended the Kairos Document to me, and I hope you’ll read it sometime to get an idea of what’s really happening in the Land: https://www.kairospalestine.ps/ index.php/about-kairos/kairos-palestine-document.

At 2:10, we left BEA (we were there for only half a day on Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday), bound for Herodian, one of Herod the Great’s castles. Google Herodian for lots of information

November 8, 2022

This was my day to teach whatever I wanted. I took advantage of this freedom and introduced the juniors to some of the really good writing projects that I did with my students back in the day. Actually, I had Shurouq in mind when I did my “performance” in her classroom in hopes that she would adapt some of them to use in her classes. We left at noon, headed to Jerusalem, stopping to have lunch on the way.

I also visited Mr. Michael’s seventh-grade class. Those kids have so much energy, but Michael knew just how to keep them sort of focused on their group work. One of the girls informed me that the boy that I was sitting next to was her twin. Of course, I snapped a photo . . . with Adam bombed in it. Adam is the little brother of one of my seniors. The first thing Adam did was ask me how old I was. Later, he told me that I was really pretty for 82. I won’t forget him!

I’m not giving details about the places that we visited each day, but if you’re interested, just Google! I must confess that this part of Afterthoughts is for me so that I will remember what we did each day.

After lunch, we visited the Mount of Olives, the Garden of Gethsemane, the Church of St. Ann, and the Pool of Bethesda.

We had a nice surprise on this evening . . . dinner at the Grotto Restaurant, where we were entertained by Palestinian dancers. Elias made sure that Frank had a meal without garlic. Everyone was so solicitous of him with his garlic intolerance! Lovely evening!

November 9, 2022

Another morning at BEA, but no responsibilities. Once again, Shurouq and I had time to visit. I gave her the gifts that I had brought for her . . . earrings and a Christmas ornament that Corey made. She loved them! She gave me a beautiful hand cross-stitched purse. So lovely! She had one for Susan, too.

After school that day, we went to Bethlehem for lunch and shopping. Our sites included Shepherd’s Field and the Nativity Church. That evening, we had dinner at Elias Ghreeb’s house. He has a lovely family! His wife, Lina, and I are already friends on Facebook. His older daughter, Sarah, happily showed us how good she is with Rubik’s Cubes. Her fingers flew as she solved one after one. I didn’t realize that there were several kinds of Rubik’s Cubes, but she had several different ones. She also entertained us by playing the violin, and her brother, George, displayed his talent on a stringed instrument, the name of which I don’t know. The little girl, Cici, managed not to do much of anything except act shy. Beautiful child, but not very social yet. All in all, a wonderful evening in a REAL Palestinian home! BTW, we had barbecue, but it wasn’t anything like our BBQs. It was more like a shish kebab. Very good, though!

November 10, 2022

This was a very interesting, beautiful day, but exhausting! We were gone from 7:00 in the morning until after dark in the evening. Our destinations were Caesarea Maritime, Mount Carmel, and Capernaum . . . all places that I had read about and studied from the Bible. We made a great group photo at Caesarea. I wish I could remember details about all of the places, but, alas, my rememberer isn’t so good as it used to be! Here are some photos:

November 11, 2022

We went to Jerusalem Old City on this day, our first destination being the Wailing Wall. This visit was very special to me, not because of the Wall (which I didn’t go to), but because I was to meet Lud Mila there. Mila was one of Irina’s teachers way back in Irina’s school days. She actually visited Irina in Pensacola, and we met her then. Neither Frank not I remember much about the meeting; however, Mila and I have been friends on Facebook for a long time. I had my doubts about her being able to find us at the Wall, but as I stood there watching Jews and Gentiles alike visiting the Wall, I heard behind me, “Hi, Sandy!” I asked how she had found me in all of the tourists. “Your hair!” she replied. I had a great time visiting with her and her husband, Sasha (nickname for Alexander, as I knew from reading Russian novels). We had only a few minutes, but you know we had to have photos!

Mila tried to get tickets for her and Sasha for touring the Western Wall Tunnels, but there were none to be bought. The Tunnels were interesting but exhausting for me because of steps, so I wish I had stayed outside and visited with Mila and Sasha while everyone else toured. They had traveled so far to see us, and we had only a very few minutes with them. Meeting with them was one of the high points of the trip for me!

In the afternoon, we visited the Via Dolorosa (packed with tourists, with fruit and other things for sale on either side of the walkway) and the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. Then it was on to the Garden Tomb, where we had a lovely lady from British Columbia as our “teacher.” I loved this visit! We had time to shop in Jerusalem. We didn’t purchase many souvenirs from the Land. We have enough “souvenirs” in our home and need to get rid of some of them; however, the things that we bought are true treasures.

Our destination for the evening was the home of Ghada and Jeff Pribble and their two sons, Stephen and Sebastian. What a lovely evening, once again with a REAL Palestinian meal! Actually, all of our meals were REAL Palestinian ones, but some were more special than
others . . . like the ones at the Ghreebs’ and Pribbles’ homes! Once again, the hosts had thought of Frank and his intolerance for garlic and had several dishes without it.

November 12, 2022

Our destinations on this day were many: Ein Gedi, Qumran, Masada, Jericho, and the Temptation of Christ site. So much that I hardly have memories of them . . . but I have photos. That evening after dinner at our hotel in Beit Sahour, we met with Johnny and Fadi, two young men who minister to Muslim seekers in Gaza. It broke my heart to hear their stories about how these Muslims are suffering! Check this website to see some of the work being done there: https://www.jeoministry.org/. Pray for All Arabs and Jews!

November 13, 2022 — our last day in the Land

We arrived at Immanuel Evangelical Church shortly before 10:00 a.m. I had to get a photo of the beautiful sign identifying the church!

I sat next to a Palestinian lady who had gone to college in the US. She spoke beautiful English, and we had a lovely conversation before the service began. Of course, the service was in Arabic, but the songs that were projected had the English translation at the bottom of the screen. A pastor from the US had a group there, and he had been asked to have the sermon for the day. He would say a couple of sentences, and the pastor of Immanuel would translate to Arabic. His sermon was a bit long, I’m afraid, because members began to leave before he was finished. I guess Mama had dinner in the oven or they had reservations at a restaurant.

After church, we met the Pribbles, the Ghreebs, the Doolittle’s (founders of BEA), and the librarian at BEA at a restaurant in Bethlehem. I enjoyed this Palestinian lunch so much, maybe because it would be our last. Once again, Elias made sure that Frank had a garlic-free lunch.

Next stop . . . The Walled Off Hotel. I read about this hotel earlier in the year and could hardly wait to visit it. I certainly wasn’t disappointed. I have a new appreciation for the Palestinian people since reading a few books and visiting BEA. The Palestinian people have been terribly mistreated by the Israelis, but we don’t hear about that in the US. Here’s a bit of description of the hotel from the Internet: “Banksy’s Walled Off Hotel is both a nod to the Waldorf luxury hotel chain and the Israeli West Bank Wall, located just metres away from the hotel. Each room in Banksy’s hotel looks out on to the illegal concrete barrier, which separates Israel from the Palestinian territories. Banksy boasts it is ‘the worst view of any hotel in the world.’” It broke my heart to tour the hotel and see some of the memorabilia collected about the Israelis’ treatment of the Palestinians. I know that there are always two sides to a story, but hearing and reading about the precious Palestinians and what the Israelis have done to them has changed my mind about these precious people. Here’s the link to the Walled Off Hotel, and I hope you’ll go there: https://www.myartbroker.com/artist-banksy/guides/10-things-to-know- about-banksys-walled-off-hotel-in-bethlehem.

Here’s an article that I’d like for you to read. It sheds new light on what we know here in the States about the Palestinians: https://www.kairospalestine.ps/index.php/about-kairos/ kairos-palestine-document? fbclid=IwAR0uVQYpvMoE9ZCHEROiwOeNnKmFkNqxF9KTyjbBl3DUMAd6ncU0xR4x1Cg.

After a couple of hours at the Saraha Hotel in Beit Sahour, resting and last-minute packing, we were off to the airport. We sat around or strolled a bit for about three hours, then boarded the plane for our twelve-hour flight to Miami. We were all so tired, and Frank was already showing signs of an illness, which turned out to be COVID-19. I tried to watch three movies: Because of Winn Dixie, You’ve Got Mail, and The Bucket List, but I fell asleep about half way through each of them. I had already seen each one, but I was too tired to pick out new movies. I’m always afraid of nasty language, and I didn’t want to hear any on this flight. Frank slept the whole time, except for one trip to the bathroom. I think I made three trips.

Our trip through Customs in Miami certainly wasn’t like our one in Tel Aviv. It was a nightmare! There were probably at least a dozen stations where Customs folks could have checked us in, but only two were open. I wouldn’t be surprised if there were 400 or 500 of us winding through the passages to the desks, everyone exhausted. I’m sure we moved ever so slowly for about 45 minutes, each minute clicking off closer to our departure to Pensacola time. Eventually, a man noticed the predicament of all of us and opened up more stations. We made it to our gate with only minutes to spare.

I think I was asleep before the plane took off. The first thing I remember was flight attendants stopping near me with coffee and cookies. It was difficult leaving our traveling buddies at the Pensacola Airport, but we were all eager to get to our homes. Frank and I stopped at the Shrimp Basket on our way to our trailer for what would be our last seafood meal before heading to NM.

By the time that we got to Jo and Fred’s and our home away from home, Frank was really feeling the COVID. He was sick all of Tuesday and was beginning to feel better on Wednesday. The bug hit me during the night on Tuesday and was with me full force all day Wednesday and Thursday. I can’t remember feeling that bad even when I had the flu several years ago. So much for shots and boosters, huh? We finally felt like traveling on Friday and left Pensacola around 8:00 that morning. We hadn’t been able to tell Jo and Fred about our trip, but that was okay. We certainly didn’t want to infect them!

Uneventful travel (thank you, Jesus!) until we got to the Texas/New Mexico border and stopped at the Welcome Center in NM to eat lunch. I’m sure that the Lord gave us the suggestion of stopping then because Frank discovered that a spring had broken on the trailer. It was lop-sided! As of this minute, the trailer is right where we left it, the part having been ordered last week. Just praying that it will come in soon. Todd, our generous son-in-law, is prepared to go over on a Saturday to help Frank repair the trailer.

When we opened the door to our house, after traveling about 200 miles in the truck with no trailer, we felt as though we were entering a freezer. Frank discovered immediately that the central heating wasn’t working. We made it until 7:00, then bundled up in all sorts of bed clothes and hunkered down under both the comforter and the quilt on our bed. That’s the only night that we had to do that because Frank fired up the pellet stove and two electric heaters during the day, and we have managed to keep relatively warm. A heater repairman came eventually, and Frank has ordered the part that he said we needed.

I hated to leave Bethlehem, but I’m happy to be home now. We still have a way to go in repairs, but we’ll make it. God is always good, and He’ll give us the stamina to get everything done!

And now to the real reason for this chapter . . . bringing this letter/epistle to a close. I have tried to structure this chapter during the day, in the middle of the night, while driving to Santa Fe, during church (shame on me, huh!), at so many times, but I haven’t been very much successful. So I’ll just ramble a bit more with some things that didn’t fit in anywhere else.

A love letter should be just that — a love letter, so I won’t mention any criticisms of you, but I will criticize myself and give you some suggestions for making this old lady happy in her last years. Yes . . . last years. Don’t feel bad that I’ve said that because I’m truly looking forward to the days when I’m with Jesus. Don’t get me wrong. I love being here with all of you, but I’ll love even more being in Heaven! Just think . . . I’ll see and visit with Jay, Mama, Papa, Grandma, Grandpa, Bob Crumpton, the Apostles Paul and Peter, Billy Graham . . . and a host of others. The most important person, though, is Jesus! As the old gospel song goes "Just to be there and/ To look on His face/ Will through the ages/ Be glory for me."

I want all of you to be there with me! I have tried in this book to tell you, as best I can, how to become a Christian and to assure yourself that you WILL be in Heaven! The alternative to Heaven is Hell, and I don’t want you . . . or anyone . . . to be there. I wish you would read Dr. David Jeremiah’s Revealing the Mysteries of Heaven for descriptions of both places! It’s one of the most inspirational books I have ever read. And I’ve read it about three times, getting new blessings every time.

You may or may not know this: I am my own worst critic. So many times, I see others doing things better than I do, and I begin to criticize myself. I’ve always done this, so I probably won’t change. Others write better than I do, cook better than I do, know more about the Bible than I do, read more books than I do, are better housekeepers than I am . . . the list goes on and on. But the self criticism that has plagued me the most lately is my feeling of not being a good mother to Wendy and Jay. I may not be a good grandmother either these days, but I can always do something about that. I can’t do anything about not being a good mother because the mother time has passed.

I can’t ask Jay to forgive me, but I can ask you, Wendy, to. Many times, I’m afraid, I put teaching ahead of doing things with you. I didn’t really help the two of you with homework because I was too busy cooking and cleaning the kitchen and grading papers or making lesson plans. I didn’t really instill in you housekeeping necessities because it was easier to do chores myself. I let Sunday school teachers be the ones to talk to you about salvation instead of leading you to Jesus myself. (I am thankful for those Godly women who taught you!) I tried at one time to lead our family in evening devotionals, but since no one seemed interested except me, I gave up soon after I started. I didn’t teach you and Jay to cook; however, both of you learned on your own. Jay knew how to cook a few things, but you, my darlin’ daughter, have surpassed me on your own! I could go on and on in self criticism, and I’m sure you can add to my list. I’d be happy to hear your criticisms, but I’d also love to hear if I did anything right. I know that you didn’t like to wear the clothes that I made for you, but we really didn’t have money for me to shop in stores that you might have liked to have clothes from. But I digress . . .

I’m not sure what I could have done to keep Jay from doing some of the things that he did. I’ve asked the Lord to forgive me for the mistakes that I made with both of you, and that’s all I can do now. The past is the past. It can’t be undone.

Grandma had an expression that I think is true: “If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride.” I’m going to tell you a wish that I have, and I’m not telling you to make you feel bad. I wish that my text messages would be answered right away. I don’t write messages just to chat. Some of you are so good about answering, but some of you are not. I know you’re busy, but I’m such a people person that I get upset when I don’t get answers. And this is even more important to me: I’d love to get a phone call every once in a while when you just want to tell me what you’re doing or to listen to me tell you what’s going on in our lives. Please understand that I’m not asking for a JoAnn/Angela relationship in which you’d call me every day and sometimes more than once a day. I’m not a nosey person. I just like to know what’s happening in the lives of those I love. I must say here that Irina is very good at this. Thank you!

That’s it. I’ve finished. I hope you know from what I’ve written in A Love Letter to My Family that I love each one of you with all my heart, that I want the very best for you in your lives, and that the most important thing for me is to see each one of you in Heaven . . . for you to ask Jesus to be your Lord and personal Savior.




                                                  Merry Christmas!